3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect.

We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

Win Ex Boyfriend Back From That Girl !

You want to win ex boyfriend back because he was yours and for some reason she has him now. If you believe that the two of you should be together then it is very likely that you are. But how are you going to do this? You have to play it smart and dignified if you are going to win

ex boyfriend back.

She may want to play nasty to keep him away from you but if you get nasty right back then all you will be doing is feuding and you are too big for that. What you want to do is show him that you are more mature than she is and more like a real woman while that other girl is immature.

If your first instinct is to fight, suppress it. Rise above it. Gain control of your emotions and the other girl may be exposed for being the immature girl she is. If you look favorable compared to her then it will only be too obvious that you are the better choice. Rather than resorting to curses, resort to positive feelings. Be the obvious better choice and you stand a greater chance to win ex boyfriend back.

If she treats him poorly then talk to his friends. They may be feeling the same way. IF it keeps going you may have grounds to have an intervention. Talk with their friends and find out with them what you could do together to get him out of that situation. If you want to win ex boyfriend back it will be easier if you have his friends working with you. Much of the best ways to win ex boyfriend back from her is going to be using his friends.

If it seems like he is under some love spells that she put on him, find out what it is that she has over him and try to find ways to show that he deserves better. Let his friends know that he deserves better. They may very well agree with you. If she has him obsessed with her and she is forcing him to spend time with her instead of them, they will want to get him back. If you are on their side, they will be on yours.

If are able to convince others who know him well that their friend is better off with you then you will have a lot smaller of a battle to fight. There will be so many people against that relationship that it could crumble under the pressure. The secret to having this work in your favor is to be behind the scenes. Let others do the work for you. That way if that other girl catches on you can make her seem like she is paranoid for thinking that you are causing all their problems.

Understanding WOMEN!

Understanding women doesn’t really come very easy to most guys who can’t look beneath the surface. That’s why women do the things they do around men. You will be very surprised to know that there are also reasons why women dress and speak in certain ways when talking to a guy too. Can you guess what the reasons are?

Don’t worry if you can’t, because today I’m going to give you a simple guide to understanding women using 3 very effective methods.

Women Want To Be Approached!

They spend hours putting on makeup and worrying about what they should wear, so that should be enough to tell you that they want to attract men, and they want to get noticed. The next time you’re standing there worrying and stressing about whether or not to approach a girl, just remember that she is probably worrying and stressing out too! Take action and simply go right up to her and start talking.

Women Give Off Obvious Signals!

Listen, if a woman really likes you she will be looking at you. She’ll also try to pretend she wasn’t eyeing you up if you catch her eye as well. She’ll be playing with her hair, fixing her clothes and giving off all kinds of subtle signals to let you know she is interested in you!

Women Are Prone To Sexual Tension!

Women have been programmed by society to hold back when it comes to getting intimate with men. She’ll probably act like she isn’t feeling very sexual around you, but you can bet your bottom dollar she’s waiting for you to make the first move! Use some simple techniques such as holding her hand a bit longer than usual if shaking it to say goodbye or when you first approach her. Any good pick up artist out there will tell you to at least touch a woman once when flirting with them.

You see understanding women isn’t so hard in the end is it? Of course there is slightly more to understanding them than the above guide, but it’s just a basis for you to work on and build up.

What to do If She Says She Has Lost Interest In Being Married

It is not easy to watch a woman get bored with your marriage. It is even worse if you do not notice at all. You need to be aware of the things that are going on in your marriage so that you can make it work and last for as long as possible. You should not let your marriage get so boring to the point that your wife loses interest. I would recommend that you take the time to be sure that everyone is satisfied and happy so that you can keep your marriage happy and strong.

When your wife tells you that she is bored and is loosing interest in being married, you need to take action. You have to be ready and willing to reconstruct the marriage so that you are not losing out on something that you love so much. You should be able to keep the marriage going strong so that you can live a happy life together.

You can reconstruct a marriage first by communication. You have to be wiling to sit and talk to each other. The more that you talk, the more that you will be able to find out about each other and what is going on. You can talk about what is boring her and what she needs to have from you to be happy. When you are willing to sit and discuss things you will get down to what is really going on and how you can start to put it back together.

Once you have communicated well about what is going on, you should then think about what you have to do to make it all right. This is going to be serious. You should not go into this conversation unless you are totally willing to make things work between the two of you. You should sit down and think of things that you both can do to make the marriage more interesting to both of you. Listen to what she has to say and take it to heart. You should not demise what she is saying and take it serious so that you are able to put the spark back into the marriage.

I know that there are lots of married couples that just forget about the fun that they used to have. They have become comfortable with each other and there is nothing at all wrong with that. However, they have become too comfortable. Life has become boring for them and it is hard to get excited about being married again. When this happens, you need to notice before she comes to you and says that she is losing interest in being married. This is going to be the point that you want to avoid. You need to keep it fresh and alive in your marriage so that you can keep both of you excited and interested in the marriage.

Do not take things for granted. You may think that your marriage is happy and everything is great. However, you may not see what is really going on inside her head. You may not be able to see that she is bored and very unhappy. Again, the best thing that you can do is talk to each other and find out what each other is feeling. This is the called communication and it is the key factor to have in any marriage.

Think of ways that you can add the fun into your relationship. Plan a romantic getaway so that you can have some fun like you used in the beginning. You should think about how you can surprise her and make her feel special. Make this the most romantic getaway that you have ever had. Do not be afraid to make it over the top. If you have the money to make it happen, you should go for it. However if you do not, you can make it as well as you can with what you have. This is the best way that you can get some alone time without others around to make things right again or at least try.

Do something nice for your wife when you can. Shock her with your kindness and let her know that what she does is appreciated. You want her to know that she is something special in your life and you want to honor that. This is a great way to make her feel interested in the marriage again. You will be amazed at how far you may get with this approach. You want to do little things whenever you can so that she will feel like she is the light of your life and that you are always thinking of you.

So you just got her phone number... Now what?

Well here's my bulletproof blueprint for starting a flirtatious, playful text conversation with her...

STEP 1 - WAIT 2-3 hours before texting her, and don't wait more than 12 hours.

STEP 2 - Text her this...

Hey [her name], this is [your name]'s phone. He's busy trying to think of something flirty to text her so I thought I'd say hi :)

Now why does this text work so well?

First, it's playful and creative. But MORE IMPORTANTLY...you're setting up a fun role playing situation. It instantly becomes a conversation between your phones, as if they have lives of their own.

Why is that so powerful? Because it totally safeguards you and let's you be more open and sexual with her since everything you're saying is INDIRECT.

For example, say she texts you back: Hi [your name]'s phone!

Now you can say all sorts of flirtatious things....

So don't tell [her name], but I think [your name] kind of likes her because he has 3 [her name]’s in my directory and he bumped her up to #2.

or

So is [her name] pretty hot? Does my boy [your name] have good taste?

or

So I caught a glimpse of [her name] when [your name] was putting her # in me and I totally caught her licking her lips while she was looking at him. Did you see that??

Plus, you can use this role playing game to get a date with her without sounding try-hard. For example, during the text conversation you might say...

So [your name]'s iPhone calendar looks pretty busy this week, but we should definitely get him and [her name] together soon. How's her schedule looking next week?

Are you starting to get a feel for this? Cool. Try it out next time.

Let's Start Talking Again....

It’s a fact that more marriages end in divorce than those that last. It used to be that marriages really were forever. The phrase “’till death do us part” was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding vows.

Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for 18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal status in one country or another.

Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly, yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything you want is slowly slipping away? You rescue it.

1) Rescuing the Relationship

To save your relationship, you must first figure out what is causing it to fall apart.

Do you and your spouse talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising your family to discuss what’s going on? Have you gone on a date in the last six months?

Do you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you cheated on the other? What is causing the relationship to break down? Let’s face it; you don’t just wake up one morning and say, “I think I’d like a divorce today.”

In order to figure out what’s going (or gone) wrong in your relationship, you need to take a step back from your feelings to observe what is going on.

If you fight frequently, write down the things you fight about. Write down the amount of time you’ve spent together in the last few days, and write down what you were doing when you weren’t spending time together.

You will want to get everything straight in your head before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems and what you think might be damaging your relationship.

2) Talking—It’s Not Overrated

After you have gathered your information, approach your spouse.

Make sure you go into the discussion calmly and rationally. You also want to make sure that you’re not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.

If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved. Make sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things that are bothering you to the things that you wish you did more of together.

Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling, and that you care about where they want the relationship to go.

3) Scheduling

If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an excellent idea.

All parents know that children thrive on routine, which is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat of a timed schedule, as well.

For instance, take the case of my friend and her husband. Both of them spend every Saturday night together. They have young children, so most of the time they stay in instead of going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out or some quick meal they can throw together once the kids have gone to bed.

They leave the lights on in the living room long enough to eat their meal, and then, once that’s done, they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be there the next day, so there’s no reason to spoil the mood by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together to watch the rest of the movie. They don’t talk about anything except the movie, and make sure that they are touching each other as much as they can.

It is not “un-romantic” to schedule time to be with your spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether it’s going out together, or staying in watching a movie. For myself and my boyfriend, sometimes we’ll pull out a board game, add some alcohol, and have a great night being silly together.

As you get along in your relationship, you come to take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing time together is one great way to get your relationship back on track.

If you’re thinking about filing for divorce because you can’t stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. When you love each other and put a little work into it, marriages really can last forever.

Why and When Do Marriages Go Bad?

I’m not sure who is more shocked when a marriage goes bad, the couple who started off so in love and looking forward towards their future together or the couple’s friends and relatives who looked up to them as been the perfect couple and role model for others in relationships.
However, marriages going bad can happen to anyone and it can sneak up on a loving and committed couple as quickly as it can for an incompatible and dysfunctional couple.

So that leads to three common questions for couples:

1. Why do marriages go bad?
2. When do marriages go bad?
3. Is there anything that can be done to either prevent or reverse the downfall of a relationship?

All three questions can be answered by examining the following Three Major Negative Benchmarks that can occur in a relationship:

1) Taking Each Other For Granted: A marriage can take a downwards turn when a couple starts taking each other for granted.

They get used to their routines and activities of daily life, they are busy, being pulled in many different directions as well as stressed and tired.

The couple doesn’t realize or have never been told about the importance of keeping each other’s relationship, love and respect for each other as the center focus and anchor of their lives together.

If they don’t put their relationship front and center they will get whisked off by external factors and lulled by the inertia of the familiar interactions between the two of them.

Eventually it is like being strangers living in the same home together who don’t even bother to think of the other person anymore.

So the easy solution is to start focusing on each other again. Start doing activities together alone that focus on one another, start going on full out dates, (flowers, gifts, dinner, leave the house and pick your spouse up even though you live together.)

Do things to show appreciation for your partner, in the ways that your partner would feel appreciated and don’t forget to be spontaneous – whether that is out of the blue for no reason telling your partner you love him/her or surprise him/her with a gift - just do something you normally don’t do to breathe some new life into the monotony of daily living.


2) Great Dividers of Love: In many of our books including our Counsellor in a Box Home Study Program (www.counsellorinabox.com ) we talk about what we call the Great Dividers of Love.

The Great Dividers of Love are a build-up of emotions such as resentment, judgment, disappointment and loss of respect that cause couples to shutdown their love towards their partner.

When love is shutdown in a relationship, a couple loses their connection, their intimacy and what holds their relationship together.

The result is you will get an emotionally shutdown couple who really doesn’t care for each other anymore and have nothing to inspire them to keep their relationship alive.

So as a couple or individually each partner needs to release and heal all the emotions that have built up so the love, which is still alive deep down underneath can resurface and breathe again.

3) Toxicity and Deficiency Overload: If a couple is not completely compatible and if they do not have relationship training or what we call at our LMC Relationship Centre “Relationship Mastery” as well as if each member of the couple has dysfunctional behaviors caused by unresolved past wounds and experiences – the relationship is going to be full of toxicities and deficiencies.

Simply put - toxicities are things in your relationship that you don’t want and deficiencies are things that you want and you are not getting in your relationship.

A relationship that has a lot of toxicities and deficiencies can only be resilient for so long, then they will become overloaded.

The couple will either then start to destruct the relationship, self-destruct or start to avoid each other because of all the negative conditioning built-up from all the toxicity and deficiency.

If a car hasn’t had an oil change for a long time, the build-up in the oil will cause the car to stop functioning properly and eventually break down.

If a car runs out of oil, the car will stop functioning.

When it comes to our car, we know or someone else will tell us that we have to deal with the “toxicities” (oil change) or deficiencies (need to put in more oil) or our car isn’t going to run.

Our relationships isn’t any different, eventually the relationship isn’t going to work anymore unless the toxicities and deficiencies are dealt with.

Unfortunately most people are not aware of that and no one tells them in such a straightforward manner as the attendant at the gas station who says “Hey would you like an oil change or would you like me to fill up your oil?

Systems have been developed to deal with oil in your car.

The goods news is that systems have also been developed for dealing with your toxicities and deficiencies in your relationship.

The first step is awareness.